Stop Being Their Manager. Start Being Their Anchor.

A Practical, Step-by-Step Workbook for Parents of Adult Children Living at Home—Finally Trade Daily Friction for a Connected, Thriving Relationship Built on Mutual Respect.

If you’re here, you’re likely standing at a strange and often frustrating crossroads.

Let’s start with a scene that might feel familiar. Your 23-year-old is in the kitchen, making breakfast at noon, leaving a trail of crumbs and used dishes in their wake. They mention offhandedly that they haven’t started applying for jobs yet, and something inside you snaps.

Before you can stop it, “The Voice” comes out.

It’s that firm, all-knowing, “I’m the parent, you’re the child” voice that you perfected over two decades. But as the words leave your mouth, you see the flicker in your adult child’s eyes—not of a child being corrected, but of an adult shutting down.

You’re left standing in the messy kitchen, feeling like you’ve failed a test you didn’t even know you were taking.

If this resonates, please hear this: you haven’t failed. You are an expert at parenting the child you had. The challenge is that you’re no longer parenting a child, and the old tools no longer fit.

The constant reminders, the low-grade anxiety about their future, the resentment over finances and chores… it’s exhausting. And it’s creating a wall between you and the person you love.

You’ve likely found yourself falling into one of these thankless, outdated roles:

The Fixer: You jump in to solve their problems, which inadvertently sends the message that you don’t trust them to fix things themselves.
The Enforcer: You still operate from a place of rules and consequences, which to an adult, feels like a violation of their independence.
The Manager: Your mantra is, “Have you…?” “Did you remember to…?”. You’re essentially serving as their external hard drive, which can undermine their ability to manage their own life.
The Martyr: You operate in silence, sacrificing your own needs, comfort, and peace, which teaches your child that your needs don’t matter.

These patterns aren’t character flaws; they are simply outdated strategies. It’s time for a new one.

Introducing:

You Can’t Ground an Adult: The Practical Workbook for Navigating Life with Your Grown Child at Home

This isn’t another parenting book filled with theory. This is a hands-on, practical workbook designed to help you transition from being a frustrated Manager to a calm, respected Anchor Parent.

An anchor’s job isn’t to control the boat, but to be a calm, steady, and reliable force. This workbook gives you the exact tools, scripts, and frameworks to become that anchor, helping you build a thriving adult relationship grounded in personal autonomy—both yours and theirs.

Your Complete Toolkit for a More Peaceful Home

Inside this workbook, you won’t find platitudes. You’ll find actionable guides, conversation scripts, and fillable worksheets to help you navigate the most common friction points, including:

Chapter 2: The Thing Behind the Thing. Learn to use my core coaching question—“what’s the thing behind the thing?”—to uncover the root causes of your own reactions instead of just addressing the symptoms.
Chapter 3: From Bank to Boundary. Heal your own money story so you can have productive, non-emotional conversations about finances. Use the Financial Expectation Map and Cost-Sharing Agreement Templates to get on the same page.
Chapter 4: From Household Manager to Housemate. Stop nagging. Use the “Definition of Clean” Negotiation Framework and Household Contribution Chart to create a fair system that makes the system the boss, not you.
Chapter 5: From Open-Door Policy to Closed-Door Respect. Use the Privacy Needs Assessment and Space-Sharing Agreement Template to create a “Privacy Treaty” that respects their adulthood and reclaims your own sanctuary.
Chapter 6: From Anxious Manager to Anchor. Learn how to use empowering nudges instead of anxious nags with the Nagging vs. Nudging Self-Assessment and Career Conversation Guide.
Chapter 7: Navigating Guests & Relationships. Use the Comfort Level Assessment and Guest Policy Creation Template to collaboratively handle overnight guests in a way that honors your values and their autonomy.
Chapter 8: From Problem-Solving to Joy-Building. You’ve built the foundation; now it’s time to fill it with good things. Use the Fun Activity Planner and Gratitude Log to consciously build a more joyful, connected relationship

Imagine a New Reality in Your Home…

Imagine what it would feel like to…

Feel confident and prepared for difficult conversations about money, chores, and guests.
Replace anxiety and resentment with a sense of peace and mutual respect.
Trust your adult child to manage their own life, knowing you’re there as a supportive resource, not a manager.
Stop solving problems and start building joyful memories together.
Finally get your own life back, knowing you have a strong, healthy, and lasting relationship with the amazing adult you raised.

This is the transformation that awaits you inside You Can’t Ground an Adult.

This workbook is for you if:

Your adult child (18+) is living in your home, and the dynamic feels tense or frustrating.
You feel stuck in old parenting patterns and don’t know how to change.
You want to build a better, more respectful adult relationship with your child.
You are ready for practical tools and clear action steps, not just abstract advice.

Hi, I’m Paula. As an ICF-accredited ACC coach, I provide a safe space of unwavering acceptance, guiding parents to create more connected, thriving families with confidence. With over 25 years of experience in analyzing complex systems, I now apply that expertise to the most important system of all: our families. My coaching philosophy is that lasting change comes from a deep respect for personal autonomy. This workbook is the culmination of my professional coaching experience, my expertise in creating inclusive and safe spaces, and my passion for helping parents and their adult children build relationships that last a lifetime.

Get Your Copy Today and Start Building a Better Relationship Tonight

You have everything you need to make this change. You just need the map. This workbook is that map. For just $67, you get instant access to the complete digital workbook, including all the fillable worksheets, planners, and scripts.

FAQ

Q: My child is the one who needs to change, not me. Will this still work?
- A: This is a common feeling. However, the core principle of this work is that the only person you can truly change is yourself. By shifting your own approach and identity from Manager to Anchor, you fundamentally change the dynamic of the entire relationship, creating the space for them to step up in a new way.
Q: Is this a physical book?
- A: This is a digital PDF workbook. You will get instant access upon purchase and can print the pages you need or fill them out on your device.